I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
