no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
