i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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