Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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