yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Randomize
