His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Randomize
