that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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