my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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