He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
