You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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