He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize