I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Randomize
