WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
