We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
