he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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