grandma shit on top of the toilet
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
