There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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