she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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