Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize