god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
