Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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