seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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