Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My vagina is very pro this idea
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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