You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
