i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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