our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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