Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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