I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
