I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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