Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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