Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
