my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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