I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
