Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
