Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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