I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
