I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Buhtt sex?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
