I can't breathe out the right side of my face
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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