Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize