I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
