Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
