SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
