You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
