after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
