My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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