I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
