We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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