My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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