I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
