last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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