Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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