I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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