i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
