Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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