Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
