I want to make a zoo with you.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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