You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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