i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
