I have demons in me.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize