Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize