Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
