No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
